Pretty

Hello girls, I wanted to share this poem by author Katie Makkai. This type of poetry is kind of unusual and it's called "Slam Poetry". I invite you to search a little bit about it, it's pretty (see what I did there?) awesome. This poem makes me shiver. It's so full of power and anger.

Here is the poem

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother “What will I be? Will I be pretty? ” Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? What comes next? Oh right, will I be rich which is almost pretty depending on where you shop. And the pretty question infects from conception passing blood and breath into cells. The word hangs from our mothers’ hearts in a shrill of fluorescent floodlight of worry. “Will I be wanted? Worthy? Pretty? But puberty left me this funhouse mirror dry add: teeth set at science fiction angles, crooked nose, face donkey-long, and pox-marked where the hormones went finger-painting my poor mother. “How could this happen? You’ll have porcelain skin as soon as we can see a dermatologist.” “You sucked your thumb. That’s why your teeth look like that! ” “You were hit in the face with a Frisbee when you were six, otherwise your nose would have been fine! ” Don’t worry; we will get it all fixed she would say, grasping my face, twisting it this way and that as if it were a cabbage she might buy. But, this is not about her. Not her fault she, too, was raised to believe the greatest asset she could bestow upon her awkward little girl was a marketable appearance. By sixteen I was pickled by ointments, medications, peroxides. Teeth corralled into steel prongs, laying in a hospital bed. Face packed with gauze, cushioning the brand new nose the surgeon had carved. Belly gorged on two pints of my own blood I had swallowed under anesthesia, and every convulsive twist, like my body screaming at me from the inside out “What did you let them do to you? ” All the while, this never ending chorus groaning on and on like the IV needle dripping liquid beauty into my blood. “Will I be pretty? ” Will I be pretty like my mother, unwrapping the gift wrap to reveal the bouquet of daughter her $10,000 bought her? Pretty? Pretty. And now I have not seen my own face in ten years. I have not seen my own face in ten years, but this is not about me! This is about the self-mutilating circus we have painted ourselves clowns in. About women who will prowl thirty stores in six malls to find the right cocktail dress, but haven’t a clue where to find fulfillment or how to wear joy, wandering through life shackled to a shopping bag, beneath those two pretty syllables. This, this is about my own some-day daughter. When you approach me, already stung-stayed with insecurity, begging, “Mom, will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? , ” I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer no. The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be, and no child of mine will be contained in five letters. You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing, but you will never be merely “pretty.” 

Katie Makkai

Update

Hello y'all! Not sure if you're still reading this but Anita said she was doing it, so I decided to post ('cause maybe there are more?)

Things are not going so well for me right now. My new job makes me miss you A LOT. It really sucks.There is not a single day I don't have you on my mind. Like the time I was zapping and I saw a cheerleading competition and I remembered Ana Paula and her pretty bows. Or the time that I was driving home and I heard this Cinemark ad in which they talked about this new Kurt Cobain's documentary and I though "This will be exciting for Andrea". Korean stuff that I find online takes me to Yanira and Natalia. And let's not talk about that heartbreaking thing that happened with Zayn. Trust me, when that came out I was thinking about Valeria and how that was going to make her cry so much. Same with Paulina, Paula K, Pierina (I wear that pretty bracelet you gave me every day, it makes me feel lucky) , and all the other directioners in the group. My heart is with you in that one, girls (weren't you sad when they won that Billboard and only four people went to the stage?)

I hope Gabriela and Tamara are still rocking like they did last year, Domenica and Nathalia being as sassy as always. Grace, I know you're still cool and funny (cause honestly, who's cooler and funnier than Grace?) Laura, are you excited about Champions League? Bet you are. 

Erika, Guiliana, Camila, Paula S, Emilia, María José, Gabriela J, Nayeli, Guiliana G. All my love to you. Keep being nice girls.

I miss you. You're all in my hearts. Every day!

Love,

Miss Daysi. 

Second chances

 

I graduated four years ago by this time of year. My classmates were buying pretty dresses and everyone was joyful and excited. Preparation had been done with anticipation and paperwork was ready.  But I wasn't. Prom night was one of the saddest days of my life. I was heartbroken and going through depression. Getting up was difficult, pretending that I wanted to put makeup on and look glamorous was even harder. But nothing compared to this feeling that I had of not belonging. My friends were there, my family was there but I felt completely alone. I went back home at midnight because I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. There is nothing more miserable than feeling lonely in a room full of people that you love. I put my pijamas on, and waved goodbye to high school looking like a panda, covered with mascara and eyeliner.

 But it wasn't over.

 

Teaching was an accident, the most beautiful coincidence of all. One day, one of my former teachers called me and ask me to substitute for a week. I did it and they liked my work. So they offered me to stay. I said yes and believe me when I say I don't regret a minute of it. Not many people get a second chance in life like I did. Not only I had the opportunity to return to the place where I had a rough time, but I also had people who trusted me despite the fact of being too young. I was feeling like a new girl, more confident and willing to overcome any difficulty.

 

You gave me an amazing year, girls, and I'm going to be eternally grateful for that. My heart is filled with love and joy now and I'm a better person because I met you. Each one of you. You're probably tired of hearing me say how much I love you, but it's true and we should never, ever, be afraid to show our feelings to people who love us back. Thank you for being so supportive and nice to an unexperienced but rather enthusiastic teacher like me.

I hate goodbyes. I really do. I didn't include that on the "facts about me" post but I should have. I'm going to miss the hell out of you. I apologize for not saying goodbye the last day, but I really didn't know I was going to go.

  

Remember that you can count on me, always. You have me here. Keep writing, if you have something you'd like to share with others. I'm going to be here, writing for you. I'm also in if you want to hang out one day and go out for pizza or ice cream (YES) Now it's also OK to start sending friend requests on Facebook, Twitter or any other existent social network (FINALLY). I'd love to see what you're doing and how much you're changing so, selfies are also well received (NOBODY'S GONNA DO THIS BUT OK).

Believing that things could be better lead me to keep trying and giving my best every day. Always remember that you're gorgeous human beings, worthy of love and respect. Don't let boys bring you down, eat your meals, stay passionate about life. Don't forget that you've got somebody who cares about you profoundy.

Tomorrow is going to be my last day at school. I miss you already.

With infinite love,

Miss Daysi.

Let's be honest

Eating disorders, sex and drugs. What do they have in common? They are part of every teen’s life even if you haven’t experienced any of those yet. They are included in morning talks; your parents have warned you directly or indirectly about these. You already know it: you have to stay away from them. If we all know how dangerous and threatening they are, why is anorexia still pretty common between young girls? Why is teenage pregnancy one of the main concerns of our country? Well, it seems to me that we are not being very honest. 

A few years ago, I realized that the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about Anorexia was a really thin and sick girl from a video that a psychologist showed us in high school. I thought, of course, that I knew everything about it: the fear of food, the pressure to be perfect, and the lies that these people tell every day to avoid eating. However, the more I reflected on that, the more I realized that I was far from understanding Anorexia. For me, Eating Disorders were a terrible consequence that people outside of my country and reality had to suffer.  That situation stayed like that until one of my friends started to lose a lot of weight and I could see the same video of that sick girl, but with my friend’s face in it. Eating Disorders became real. Insecurity became real. Body hate became real. I realized that videos and talks and preaches could not help my friend. She knew why Anorexia was wrong but she could not stop. It was too late.

The first time I heard about one of the girls from high school having sex, I was about 15 years old. It was a scandal because he was not her boyfriend and it happened in a party. Later on, she got pregnant and had an abortion. It was supposed to be a secret but somebody talked and it became a major gossip. Again, we had seen videos about abortion in high school. Religion teachers showed us how a fetus is removed and how painful the process is. Still, that girl had sex. She knew unprotected sex could lead to pregnancy but that did not stop her. It was too late.

Drugs appeared in my last high school year (senior year). A friend of mine started to smoke weed regularly and that lead to cocaine and other illegal substances. He is still consuming. I am sure he also saw the same videos about addiction and destruction that we have all seen. I am also sure he knows what drugs do to his body. But does he care? 

In all of these cases, people knew the possible consequences and worst-case scenarios of what they were doing. They were well informed about the tragedy and the horror. The truth is, none of these problems will stop until we realize that we are not approaching them in the right way. Teenagers do not need to know how devastating Anorexia is, they need to know that they are worthy of love and respect, that their bodies are beautiful just because they have the capacity to move, dance, run and hug. Talking about abortion is useless if we do not have the guts to talk about sex first. If we are brave enough to accept that kids are having sex, we can explain them how to be safe. Just imagine that! An honest teacher talking about sexuality in a non-invasive or weird way, explaining that is a normal process in which you need to protect yourself.  Drug addiction also starts with self-confidence and self-esteem problems. Let’s teach kids how to love themselves first. 

I am not in high school anymore (well, I am but I am not. You get it) but I still get sad every time I see a girl crying because of the same anorexia video or abortion video. I still get sad because I cried in all of those videos and my friends cried too, but that did not help them when they were faced with addiction, abortion or eating disorders. So, if you are reading this and you know somebody who is struggling with any of these problems: do something. Be supportive and spread love, tell your friend she looks beautiful in that dress. Let your cousin know that he is completely awesome and funny. Give compliments to people every day. Smile and be kind. Don’t be afraid to love and be loved in return.

If it’s you who is struggling: I send you a big hug. You are worthy of love, respect and compassion. Never forget that. 

With tons of love,

D.