Let's be honest

Eating disorders, sex and drugs. What do they have in common? They are part of every teen’s life even if you haven’t experienced any of those yet. They are included in morning talks; your parents have warned you directly or indirectly about these. You already know it: you have to stay away from them. If we all know how dangerous and threatening they are, why is anorexia still pretty common between young girls? Why is teenage pregnancy one of the main concerns of our country? Well, it seems to me that we are not being very honest. 

A few years ago, I realized that the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about Anorexia was a really thin and sick girl from a video that a psychologist showed us in high school. I thought, of course, that I knew everything about it: the fear of food, the pressure to be perfect, and the lies that these people tell every day to avoid eating. However, the more I reflected on that, the more I realized that I was far from understanding Anorexia. For me, Eating Disorders were a terrible consequence that people outside of my country and reality had to suffer.  That situation stayed like that until one of my friends started to lose a lot of weight and I could see the same video of that sick girl, but with my friend’s face in it. Eating Disorders became real. Insecurity became real. Body hate became real. I realized that videos and talks and preaches could not help my friend. She knew why Anorexia was wrong but she could not stop. It was too late.

The first time I heard about one of the girls from high school having sex, I was about 15 years old. It was a scandal because he was not her boyfriend and it happened in a party. Later on, she got pregnant and had an abortion. It was supposed to be a secret but somebody talked and it became a major gossip. Again, we had seen videos about abortion in high school. Religion teachers showed us how a fetus is removed and how painful the process is. Still, that girl had sex. She knew unprotected sex could lead to pregnancy but that did not stop her. It was too late.

Drugs appeared in my last high school year (senior year). A friend of mine started to smoke weed regularly and that lead to cocaine and other illegal substances. He is still consuming. I am sure he also saw the same videos about addiction and destruction that we have all seen. I am also sure he knows what drugs do to his body. But does he care? 

In all of these cases, people knew the possible consequences and worst-case scenarios of what they were doing. They were well informed about the tragedy and the horror. The truth is, none of these problems will stop until we realize that we are not approaching them in the right way. Teenagers do not need to know how devastating Anorexia is, they need to know that they are worthy of love and respect, that their bodies are beautiful just because they have the capacity to move, dance, run and hug. Talking about abortion is useless if we do not have the guts to talk about sex first. If we are brave enough to accept that kids are having sex, we can explain them how to be safe. Just imagine that! An honest teacher talking about sexuality in a non-invasive or weird way, explaining that is a normal process in which you need to protect yourself.  Drug addiction also starts with self-confidence and self-esteem problems. Let’s teach kids how to love themselves first. 

I am not in high school anymore (well, I am but I am not. You get it) but I still get sad every time I see a girl crying because of the same anorexia video or abortion video. I still get sad because I cried in all of those videos and my friends cried too, but that did not help them when they were faced with addiction, abortion or eating disorders. So, if you are reading this and you know somebody who is struggling with any of these problems: do something. Be supportive and spread love, tell your friend she looks beautiful in that dress. Let your cousin know that he is completely awesome and funny. Give compliments to people every day. Smile and be kind. Don’t be afraid to love and be loved in return.

If it’s you who is struggling: I send you a big hug. You are worthy of love, respect and compassion. Never forget that. 

With tons of love,

D.